I’ve done a lot of moving and redoing so I get lots of
questions from folks who know this about me when it comes time for them to move
or redo. I think, gee, it’s great that
they value my opinion and they must think I’m really handy, and also, yeah,
they know a lot of my moving and redoing was often the result of turmoil. Be that as it may, I am one of the fortunate
ones who learns from her mistakes as she grows and ages and therefore, I’m down
with offering advice.
Lately, I’ve gotten lots of questions from folks who have
their houses for sale and, sadly, can’t sell them. While things are improving on the housing
market (or so we’re told) this is a sign of the times. So if you’re selling, maybe your odds are
stacked a little. No worries. This just means that maybe you need to be a
wee bit more aware of things that sellers 8 plus years ago couldn’t have given
two hoots about.
1.
Get your clutter out. This is the first. Silly as it seems, people just can’t imagine
their crap in your house while your crap is still in it. So, if you at least tidy up your crap, and
remove the cluttered portion of the crap, it helps sellers with tunnel-vision
imagine their three gold circa 1985 Home Interior butterflies where your framed
print of the “The Scream” now hangs.
You’re going to be moving anyway, hopefully, so get some totes and clean
house.
2.
Neutral everything, everywhere, no ifs, ands, or
butts about it. Sorry. Sellers don’t like your purple hallway (I had
one once so I know) and they don’t like your room of a gazillion shades of teal
or blue or orange or whatever it is (this, I did not have, but sadly, because I watch the housing market for fun, I have seen it). Your “child” room with one wall red, one wall
blue or >insert your particular “per wall” color combo here< doesn’t fly. Painted ceilings are trendy and serve a purpose
– yes, it’s true. They can make a small
room seem larger and large room more cozy, but painted ceilings also freak
people out. Unless a room is exactly the
way they like it, exactly their colors, style, whatever, it needs to be
neutral. So, grab a can of flat ceiling
white and paint your ceiling first.
Then, get a can of Accessible Beige or Greek Villa or Bauhaus Buff and
paint your walls. If you pull those samples and they seem light, you can aim darker. Ethereal Mood is a great one. If your wood work is already painted – and
hopefully it’s white or off-white – touch it up. If it’s blue or green or orange, paint it
off-white. Please! Get a sample of coordinating
beiges or whites that literally TELLS you what colors to paint the wall and the
trim, and just do it. If it’s just wood,
gauge how well it looks. If its okay but
the varnish or sealant is cloudy or hazy, I would try to repair that. A gentle mixture of amonia and water will help. If it’s fine, you won’t believe how great it
will look with your new neutral walls and fresh ceiling. It
will open things right up and create a magical flow through the
house. It will look brand new! But do a good job. Messy paintin’ ain’t doin’ the house any
favors. Look, I know it hurts to think
someone might not like your style, but don’t take it personally. Especially if you’re marketing to first-time
home-buyers, you need to do this. They
might not have the money or the skill if they are young to repaint an entire
home.
3.
If your
walls are in rough shape, have weird texture, or are damaged, fix them. If they’re just a little marred up this is
easily remedied by mixing some kind of texture material into your paint when
you paint. If they are terrible, or have,
for example large plaster swirls or such – and we’re not talking Venetian
Plaster which is totally gorgeous but a skill that takes practice, trust me – you maybe want to scrape it to take it down
a notch if you can.
4.
Get rid of your circa 1992 ceiling fan. Put in an updated light fixture. If you’re stuck on ceiling fans and think the
room needs one, then at least update it.
If the blades are okay, you can put new glass on it. It’s not that expensive. Honestly, if you have air, you don't really need a ceiling fan all that much.
5.
Replace your toilet seat. Yes, that’s right. I personally was always grossed out by
people’s dingey (not dirty – just old) toilet seats and when you put a new one on,
it has this magical way of making your toilet look much newer. Amazing.
6.
If your window treatments aren’t decent or
neutral and can’t be passed off as neutral, updated, or decent, then take them
down. I beg of you. Take the curtain rods down and
patch up the holes before you paint.
This will also make the room appear very large and fresh. If you have blinds, dust them. But I'm here to tell you: blinds are out. If you have a circa 1976 rollup shade, take
it down. There are beautiful roman shades or scalloped shades for very affordable prices. Check JC Penney.
7.
If you have hardwood under your carpeting, rip
the carpet out. NOW! If the carpeting is
stapled to the hardwood, you can pull the staples out and you can easily make
the hardwood look nice without spending a fortune on a complete overhaul. Shabby and distressed is in – just look at
the laminate they sell at your local Menard’s.
Distressed or repurposed hardwood is a big deal – people pay big bucks
for it. Trust me – you can make it
work. If your carpeting is glued down,
you might want to forget it. If your
carpeting is new, likewise. But hardwood
is a big seller, and increases the value of your home. Don't let anyone tell you than your hardwood needs to be in pristine condition. They are literally full of crapola.
8.
Take the frog or Justin Bieber décor out of your
bathroom and put up, that’s right – you guessed it, something neutral. Clean your bathroom. With chemicals.
9.
Kitchens are the heart of the home, or so they
say. I tend to agree even though I’m
not a huge cook. Gross or badly styled
kitchens are a turn off. And again, if
they’re not neutral, it’s even worse.
Especially when you’re dealing with older homes, it’s best to make them
look as bright and light and fresh as possible.
If your kitchen has the original cabinets and they are the old
1970’s-ish flat front thinnish things that I know you know I mean, paint
them. Use a good paint made for kitchen
cabinets. You do not need to use gloss
or semi-gloss as long as it’s a paint cohesive for use on cabinets. Use a self-leveling paint. Prime them first, and then paint them. Use a small foam roller, cutting in with a
good brush, and they’ll look like a million bucks, I promise. Use a nice beige or off-white – not white or
a high-gloss white. You don’t want to
scream sterile or “I’m trying to be comtemporary!” Replace your knobs. You can get away with not replacing the
hinges – just don’t paint them unless your sure your paint will stick to them
permanently. Since your cabinets are
lighter, you can get away with painting your walls a darker color here. But darker still means neutral – no forest
greens or burgundies. In a kitchen, a
dark wall can be considered an accessory because you probably have less wall
space than any other surface area. Yes,
even dark brown or bronze or near-black will look great – in a matte or flat
paint. Trust me, they’re just as
scrubbable if you get the right paint. Paint nowadays ain’t your mama’s paint
anymore. Kitchens and bathrooms no
longer demand high gloss paint, and that’s a fact, Jack. You’re not using oil-based anymore, are
you? Cleaning your brushes with gas? See, I rest my case.
10.
Take the clutter off your counter top. Put out a fruit bowl – fine. But get everything else out of the way. Opens things up a lot.
11.
What’s on your kitchen floor? Linoleum?
Okay, so clean it up with some ammonia and it will look fine. Amonia is a bit of a stripping agent; works wonders. If it’s horrid, you can still clean it and
get rid of any residue and put down some
nice, big neutral rugs to break Old Horrid up.
If it’s peel and stick tile, you’re in trouble. And what were you thinking? By God, if you put that in, message me so I can drive immediately to your house and save you from your poor judgement and remedy the situation. If it’s tile, clean it. This
means the grout. It’s not fun, but get
down there and scrub it with a toothbrush or a someother type of abrasive
implement. If it’s white – or should be
– bleach it and it will once again be white.
Here’s a tip – let the bleach run along your grout lines like little
rivers of bleach. It’s fine. You may have to reseal the grout, but
goshdarnnit, you need to clean it up.
It’s a porous thing, grout, and no one wants a porous thing that’s pores
could be filled with someone elses grossness.
I mean, I don’t want your blackheads, so I don’t want your grody grout
either. There is nothing grosser than dirty
grout. If you have tiled counter tops,
the same concept applies. Replace broken
or chipped tiles in either location.
Chip out and re-grout badly cracked grout.
12.
Take the carpeting of your stairs. Its way easier than it sounds. We are talking an easy 4-day ordeal at the
most. And it is also way cheaper than it sounds. See my stair redo for details if you don’t
believe me. You don’t need to “personalize” your treads like I did especially if you're selling. You can still stain them and varnish them
with a satin poly – it’s absolutely not slippery – and they’ll look
awesome.
13.
Make your basement look like something people
can use. Either clean it out (put
everything in totes, etc.) and make it look like it did the day it was poured
(or as close to it as possible) or, if it is finished but not in a “modern” way,
make it look as sparse as possible (again, with the cleaning) or try to update
it. This may not be as hard as it
sounds. If your suspended ceiling tiles
are stained, broken, or sparsely there at all, replace them or taken the whole
shebang down. If your walls are paneled
you can clean the paneling to spiff it up, you can buy paintable wallpaper and
paint it, or you can rip it down. Only
rip it down if you’re sure of what’s behind it.
You don’t want to turn this into a complete remodel. I’d clean it or wallpaper it. If your floor is concrete, make is look less
basement-y and concrete-y. If it’s never
been sealed and is base concrete, either leave it alone or consider staining
it. If it’s painted, repaint it with a
flat or matte paint specifically for concrete.
Put a large area rug (neutral, yes) over it. You can buy a remnant at a local flooring
retailer for super cheap and have it edged for super cheap. And then leave it there. Again, this tells Susie First Time Home Buyer
that the room is way more ready to go and first-timers are impressed by the
strangest details.
14.
Replace your light switch covers or at the very
least, clean them. Buy updated but
classic ones such as porcelain or ceramic or brushed nickel and such. Steer away from the mirrors, the ones that
look like textured stone, and the plastic ones.
In ten years they’ll be “shag carpeting”. If you buy wood and your wood
work is painted, paint them to match.
Clean the switches. They get
really dirty. Clean the plugs, too.
15.
Buy a Wallflower. I could get into the whole thing about how
the scent of something baking makes a house seem homier and yadda yadda yadda,
but I won’t. You just don’t want your
house to stink, that’s all. I’m not
saying your house stinks, but we all know that everyone’s homes have their own
odor and what if someone is more sensitive to that than others? Also, if your home is sitting empty, it’s
going to smell different. Buy a
Wallflower or too – something fresh – and plug them in.
16.
Take dated décor off your walls. Stylized butterflies or décor that is clearly
era-specific is an eyesore and likely the new owner will just take down. So, old mirrors, old clocks, old shelves….
Take them down. No one’s going to want
them. They’re going to want their own
stuff. You know how you make an old house look
new? Paint it and take down the
crap. This is SO easily doable if your
house is empty, and even if you’re still living in it, you can still make it
happen.
17.
Pay attention to your closets. Clean them out if you can, as much as
possible. If your house is empty, this
is easy. Clean the shelves. Maybe update some of them if you can.
18.
Pay attention to your laundry room. Vacuum around the washer and dryer. Clean the lint trap. Wipe down the washer and dryer. Got a shelf?
Replace it with new brushed metal or painted white brackets and new
white shelf or two. Coordinate your metal shelf brackets with the accent color on your washer and drier. Paint your laundry room/nook. Look for some cute, cheap, lined nesting
baskets or wire baskets to put on the shelf.
Georgous.
19.
Fix the crap that doesn’t work or that’s wearing
down. Got a closet door that comes off
the track? Fix it. Whirlpool motor don’t work? Fix it.
Toilet paper holder or towel bars looking shabby and lost their luster?
Replace them. Replace the glass on your
light fixtures with new, updated, neutral ones.
$5, that’s all we’re talking.
Replace your shower curtain.
Again, you may not be leaving it there, but if it’s scummy, that’s all
people see. Folks are judgmental,
unfortunately. Clean out your patio door
track. If your wood around your windows
is blackened from moisture damage, do a little cosmetic damage control and fix
it. Either sand it down and restain and
varnish it, or paint it. Or, you can
stain it a very dark color, leaving the outside portions a lighter and perhaps
the original color. This is actually
quite trendy and looks very nice. If
you can’t afford or don’t want to stick the money into replacing the whole
works, then you have to do something to make it look better. No, it’s not dishonest. It’s just maintaining and repairing what you
have with what you’ve got the best you can.
20.
Fireplaces are a huge selling point…or can
be. If yours is outdated and an eyesore,
there are several things you can do cheaply to liven it up a little. First, if it’s brick, unpainted, but ugly, it
is okay to paint it. Yes, you heard
me. Baby Boomers all over are gasping in
horror. Google it and get some
ideas. Easy, and cheap. If it brick and it’s already painted, you
already know what I’m going to say:
paint it again. Pick a shade that
coordinates with the other neutral colors you picked. Don't make your house look like clown house with three plus distant different colors in one room. Remember that black is an accent color. Clean up your mantel. You can even lightly sand it and restain and
varnish it. Or, of course, you can paint
it. If you have a sandstone fireplace in
need of updating, start by a good clean-up.
I would not paint it. Look at
your mantel instead – can that be improved?
Can the hardware be updated? Do
you have a river rock fireplace? While
I’ve seen these painted and look stunning with the right color, mantel (for
example a very distressed, rustic mantel), and décor, this is tricky. Again, these options only apply to fireplaces
in need up updating. Obviously, you
don’t need to be concerned about your newer sandstone or rock or brick. One option for an ugly brick fireplace is a
tile mosaic. Google it and be
surprised. Tile: If you have a tiled fireplace from 1997, you
may be nearing the threshold for updating.
Tiling is NOT hard if you need to replace it. If your grout is chipped and falling out and
if the tile is just not really doing the fireplace justice (I have one in my
home right now, as we speak), then you can easily chip the old tile out and
replace it with marble or slate.
Consider the type of tile you buy.
Likely, you will only need about 14 pieces of tile – hardly an expensive
venture at all. Don’t buy tile that
belongs on the floor unless it can easily pass for tile that belongs on a
wall. This is the mistake the
homebuilders made in my home. It’s fine,
and it’s neutral, but it’s not right.
This is the type of thing that might sell your house. You could really up the cool-factor of your
house by having a swanky fireplace, and the options are literally endless.
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